Who you are is comprised of many things, I argue priorities are chief among them. The stickler though, is that if we aren't careful - though it seems counterintuitive - we can easily loose sight of our priorities and live in dissonance with them. I've seen it over and over in my life.
I feel just... ugh... blah... and I know exercising would help that, but I use "lack of time" or "no motivation" to sway my decision to eat a donut instead. Or my kids: It's bedtime and while I know they cherish our bedtime routine I really want to get moving on a personal project before I turn into a pumpkin. Obviously exercise and my family are priorities, but if I'm not careful I'll let work take lead over everything in my life.
Hi, my name is Alicja, and I'm a recovering Workaholic.
I used to resent my kids for getting in the way of work. My mood was often dour and frustrated. There was a gap between where my priorities were and where they should be and so I lived in the ocean of dissonance it created. My first step was to figure out exactly what my priorities were.
Once I listed my priorities, I instantly had a measuring stick of significance.
I now had a scale I could weigh opportunities against. I also had truths I could remind myself during the pull of other things. What does that look like?
While tucking the kids into bed and they ask to read a book, I remember my list (literally - I pull it up in my visual rolodex) and say yes. When I have a freelance deal I'd love to take I look to see how it aligns with my priorities - if it cuts dramatically into time with family and friends I say no (don't forget I'm with an agency so freelance is above and beyond for me).
With my priorities in the lead, my decisions are a matter of logic instead of emotion.
Is it easy? At first no, I'm literally changing a life-long habit. Know being a year practicing this, I can share it is and I have much more peace and satisfaction. Do I stray? Hell yeah, but I know now the signs and coming back is easier each time.